Monday, February 5, 2018

Question of the Week: Sexual Harassment

The Question of the Week continues some of the discussion that we have had before on sexual harassment.

"Where do you think the line is when it comes to sexual harassment versus flirting?  Does the setting have any bearing on it to you (a gay bar versus a private party,, for example)?  Are you more reserved in your actions with another person now that so many have come out and made accusations against others?"


  1. Setting has nothing to do with it. It is in the persistent grabbing of a person who isn't a willing participant. I've always been more reserved in my actions - Most of us know when someone is flirting with us.... Someone making sexually tinged, or charged comments, or staring at your cock may be simple flirting. Now, let's say that person is now asking you for a blow job and, if you do that, you'll get a nice raise in salary, or a monetary bonus added to your next paycheck; maybe you're offered a promotion in exchange for letting him fuck you - that's sexual harrassment.

    Having your crotch grabbed and groped when you aren't willing---having your ass grabbed when you aren't interested, being pinned into a wall and forcibly kissed with a tongue trying to ram into your mouth...that's sexual assault.

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing, Whkattk, and Happy Monday to you! I find myself a little more cautious in my interactions, but I don't want it to really change how I am. I am one to hug and can be a little touchy, but not in a sexual manner.

    2. I've been on the receiving end of both assault and harassment. Both were ugly situations. I turned down a role I sorely wanted. It took a while longer, but my career moved forward again. Maybe it didn't reach the heights it could have, but I was happy to be working.
      Cornered on a couch with a hand shoved into my crotch grabbing and squeezing, and a tongue trying to push its way into my mouth, I pushed back. Finally, pushed hard enough to extract myself, and rushed out the door....I understand that not everyone is physically strong enough to do that...but, a knee to the balls/ovaries will usually slow things down enough to get away.
      Yet, for all of that, like you, I am still "touchy-feely" in a non-sexual way. And I love hugs!

    3. As a performer you were at risk of facing that sort of situation more than most of us. I can't imagine what it was like. Kudos to you for fighting for yourself. The only way to stop a bully is to not back down.
      Don't ever lose the "touchy-feely". When you hug someone your hearts meet.

    4. "When you hug someone your hearts meet." I love that, Bruce. Thank you! --- Hugs!

  3. We agree with Whkattk. Neither the setting nor the circumstances matter a damn! When some overbearing individual makes your skin crawl and won't stop when asked/told to then that is harassment.

    We all know when someone is flirting with us, in fact we enjoy it. With flirtation both parties welcome the attention. Pursuing someone or being pursued is a lot of whets the to speak. Harassment is not about pleasure. Harassment is about power. Exerting pressure to put fear into someone...fear that refusal has in fear is not living it is persecution!

    We have always been reserved in our behavior. A flirtation can indeed be bold, even brazen; but it is still just a tease. For lack of a better phrase...all in good fun. Bryn gets a little bold sometimes...but I know that if I said no he would respect it.

  4. everyone should be aware of himself and understand how much he is flirting. And to understand especially if his flirtation is appreciated or not.