Saturday, December 24, 2016

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Gabriel Style


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that hunky Nicholas soon would be there;

Gabriel was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of naked men danced in his head;
He was naked all over, not even a cap,
As he thought of go-go boys dancing in his lap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Gabriel sprung from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight men, oh dear,

With a hunky male driver, so lively and quick,
He knew in a moment it must be his Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, BRANDON! now, BRAYDEN! now, CARLOS and JUAN!
On, CAYDEN! on KYLE! on, SCOTTY! and DEVON!
Time to get naked, to the top of the wall!
Now flash away! flash away! flash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, Gabriel heard over the ceiling
The prancing of men and the clothes they were peeling.
As Gabriel slid down his hand, and was jerking it around,
Down the chimney Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, except for being barefoot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Gabriel told to strip, right then and there,
And Nick did just that, even removed his underwear.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
Gabriel's visiting hunk was going to take his cherry!
He got on all fours and braced against the tree
Nick stepped on over and entered with glee;

Gabriel took a deep breath and gritted his teeth,
Nick pounded him good; Gabriel begged for relief,
He had a handsome face and no signs of a belly,
Gabriel needed some meat, not the kind from the deli.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled Gabriel's hole with one final jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave some whistles,
And away they all flew, like eight naked male missiles.
But Gabriel heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"I'LL BE BACK NEXT YEAR BECAUSE, DAMN, YOU ARE TIGHT!"


I hope this was funny to you and not too bawdy!  I was having fun trying to modify it and enjoyed the direction it was going.  I apologize if I ruined a classic for you.  LOL!

12 comments:

  1. You're not only a great tease, but a charmer as well! Delightful post!

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    1. Glad you liked it, Luke! Merry Christmas!

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  2. are you truly tight?
    however, love your poetic side! Merry Christmas!

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    1. Not so tight that I cannot bottom if the mood hits, but I am pretty tight. :-)

      Merry Christmas, Xersex!

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  3. DELIGHTFUL, from start to end. Merry Xmas, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad!

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  4. Delightful post. We love the poem. Speaking for myself it isn't just visions of sugar plums dancing in my head over the Christmas season.

    Glaedelig Jul og Godt Nyt Aar!

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    1. Thanks!! Hope you two had a wonderful Christmas!

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  5. Christmas was a blast!!
    The place was bulging at the seams.
    Everyone has gone home so now it's "Slap and Tickle Time".

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    1. That is the holiday before New Year's, right?

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  6. Yup...otherwise known as my birthday!
    The B Boys are now both 69 so we have to celebrate in proper style.

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  7. Yup...otherwise known as my birthday!
    The B Boys are now both 69 so we have to celebrate in proper style.

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